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svmjaeyvn · 8 months ago

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love maze, s.jy.

chapter nine pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: tbd (series)

masterlist

genre: college!au, mutual friends, fake dating, smut.

synopsis: an unfortunate encounter, drunken mistakes, and a sort of (definitely) stalker leads jake sim ‘dating’ his best friend’s childhood crush.

or, your life gets intertwined with a rich boy’s in attempt to not get sued by his crazy personal fangirl and like with all good cliches, sex overcomplicates things.

contents: smut, sort of strangers to fuck buddies to lovers pipeline, childhood best friend!jay, mentions of best friend! yunjin, curly haired & mixed reader, uni!au, rich nepo baby!jake, enha frat boys, lots of kissing, fake dating turning into fwb real quick, totally way too into it for it to be fake early on, big booty reader that’s jake’s obsessed with, partying and alcohol use, slight violence, he fell first and harder trope, stem bf & writer gf, (kinda overly) possessive jake, some angst to spice things up, daddy issues, hyper independent reader who struggles with her feelings, fluff and happy ending!!

a/n: hello~ i’ve never been a tumblr girly but i have went through my w*ttpad era back in 2018 so bare with me y’all. this will be a series but not that long (i hope) so pls look forward to it. warning tags will be placed before each “chapter” to specify what to expect. pls pls reblog and interact, i’d love to have feedback and see what your thoughts are. okay! yay, for now enjoy and thank you sm :D

MDNI, 18+

tap below to continue

CHAPTER NINE: JEALOUSY

previous masterlist next

word count: 4.1k

warnings: minjun is being a stalker, that’s sort of it??

a/n: IM SORRY IVE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG. i’m working + doing an internship at the same time so im exhausted everyday since being an adult SUCKS so i’ve neglected writing (though i have a new idea for a smau lol) and this not that great but i wanted to provide something for you guys </3 jake is down horrendous and not even hiding it now it’s crazy

"PLEASE STOP STARING," Ni-ki whined, throwing an ice cube in Jake's direction who was perched at the counter with a giddy smile. You were on the other side of the store, in the midst of barring out drinks before turning to help your coworker with a unsatisfied customer.

It was different to see you in your element, of course to you it being a mere barista job but Jake couldn't deny how much a leadership position suited you. You were good at quite literally everything, barely paying him mind when he waltzed in 20 minutes ago due to the afternoon rush but seeming calm and collected as you handled the line of drinks that seemed never ending. You looked as pretty as ever in his eyes, your haired pulled up by the clip in your hair and bare skin that seemed to be glowing.

You were called in last minute by a fellow shift as they weren't able to come in due to an emergency. Knowing Ms. Cho would've been the one to cover, something you couldn't bare to make her do as she was meant to take the week off due to spraining her wrist, and not wanting to leave Ni-ki hanging you canceled on the previous study-date you had scheduled with Jake much to his disappointment.

Lo and behold though, said boy decided that he had all the time in the world to wait for you. After you called him on your break, excited that a coworker would be coming in to do the closing tasks, telling him you'd be off at 6:30 instead of 10, Jake stopped by an hour before your shift would end deeming that allowing him to treat you to dinner would make up for the raincheck.

"Bro honestly, I know she's your girlfriend but can't you go sit down at least," Ni-ki's voice breaks his thoughts once more. Jake merely rolled his eyes, waving off the boy who looked exasperated by his presence.

"Yah, whatever. You're just bitter 'cause you’re bitchless," Jake began to tease, watching as the younger boy rolled his eyes and discretely flipped him off without the other customers taking note.

There was a familiar jingle from the door, Ni-ki's eyes looking past him to greet whoever walked in but his face turned into one of visible disgust. Immediately making his way in your direction without a word, Jake curiously turned around with his brows frowned to see what caused such a reaction.

A small scoff left Jake's lips, watching Minjun b-line to where you were behind the bar with Ni-ki glued to your side and staring him down like a guard dog. A small smirk picks at his lips, Jake waiting patiently, watching from afar to see what he planned on saying as you'd be able to handle it yourself.

"___," Minjun spoke, attempting to gain your attention but you merely lifted your gaze for a second as you focused on the drinks you had sequenced. "Can we talk?"

"I'm busy," You said dryly, sending him a pointed look as you were on shift quite literally in the middle of working. "If you need something you can ask my other staff to help you,"

"Are you seriously going to ignore me?"

"Are you seriously showing up to my job when I told you to leave me alone?" You shot back, brow raising in disbelief. "It's harassment, do you want me to call the cops?"

Minjun bit his lip, seemingly collecting his thoughts to carefully piece what he intended to say next. "You're ignoring my texts, how else am I supposed to talk to you?"

"I blocked you," You answer with a small shrug. "I don't want to talk to you. We have no reason to either way, it was your idea to move on with our lives in the first place so I don't see what you need from me now,"

"It was a mistake," Minjun attempts but a loud scoff comes from your end at his words. Feeling yourself grow more and more annoyed, you take a second to collect your thoughts, having to silently remind yourself that there were a handful of other customers that you still needed to be portrayed to in a professional light.

Your eyes flickered to the left, feeling the familiar gaze boring into your side. You met Jake's look, his brows slightly pinched as he held an unreadable expression glancing over Minjun. His arms were crossed against his chest, leaned against the front counter while his head tilted in the smallest of ways meeting your eyes. Silently indicating whether of not you wanted him to intervene, you shook your head, turning over to Ni-ki who was still on gaurd just a step behind you.

"Can you take over for me?" You ask the younger boy, his eyes softening as he glanced down to you with a small nod. Telling Sooyun the same, you leave the two on the floor to handle the customer flow and walk away from Minjun without a word. He attempted to follow along the counter that kept you separated, only to stop short noting how you met Jake at the break that separated the workers and customer side.

"You okay?" Jake asks softly, his hand finding its place in your own as he traced his thumb over your palm in attempt to offer some ease to your mind.

"I don't know why he keeps trying," You mumble out, swallowing the lump in your throat while Jake pursed his lips. You had to admit, no matter how unaffected you attempted to seem, having Minjun back and weaseling his way into your life was slowly opening up old wounds that never fully healed. It felt exhausting seeing his face, much less feeling trapped in your own workplace since that seemed to be his resort to finding you no matter how many hints you've given to leave you be.

"You want me to call the guys and we can jump him out back?" Jake offers, the teasing in his voice caused you to laugh though the glint in his eyes made it hard for you to tell if he was entirely joking. "I could take him on my own but I'm sure Jay wants a few hits at him anyway,"

"So does Ni-ki," You snicker, glancing over to the boy who had his eyes trained on Minjun with a menacing glare. "I don't have the money to bail all seven of you out though so let's not do that,"

A cocky smile fell upon Jake's lips knowing well enough his next words would cause you to grimace. "It's okay baby, I'm rich remember?"

You roll your eyes but couldn't refrain from the small laugh that fell from your lips. "You're annoying," You huff, though the giggle that filtered through your words had Jake smiling from ear to ear. Leaning closer, he's quick to place a kiss to your lips, your eyes widening as you pulled away with a tsk. "I'm on the clock, stop making me look like a bad worker,"

"No one's looking," Jake reassures, not even sparing a glance around the room but he's sure of himself. His hands fell to your hips, pulling you in closer and technically he was right, the large pastry case and stack of boxes that you had yet to be able to put away had blocked a significant amount of view of where you two stood, someone would have had to come around the corner to see you two if they really wanted to.

A clear of someone's throat caused the two of you to pull away from the giddy bubble you were in. Your annoyance flooded back in a second while Jake lazily looked over his shoulder, his eyes lighting up taking note of Minjun who stood with a dark expression.

"What's up man?" Jake smiled, turning as he said so but still keeping one arm draped around your waist though you shifted slightly in your spot. His grip tightened feeling how you attempted to move, squeezing your hip as a silent way to tell you to stay in place at his side. "You need something?"

"Can you give us a minute?" Minjun's words were short and clipped, the visible annoyance dripping from his persona.

"Don't think so," He hummed with the click of his tongue. "M'names Jake," Holding out his hand with a cheeky smile, Jake waited for Minjun to introduce himself. You had to refrain from the laugh that wanted to spill from your lips, the obviously annoying but polite tactic one you wouldn't have guessed he'd play but it seemed to work better than being possessive or immediately hostile.

"Minjun," Was all he replied with, not bothering to complete the handshake Jake intended. Turning his gaze to you, he near pleaded in a softer tone. "Can we just talk?"

Jake let out a loud sigh, dropping his hand with the shake of his head. "You know, man, I wouldn't have held nothing against you but you're really making my girl uncomfortable," His previous bubbly expression was gone, now replaced with a bored one that shamelessly glanced over Minjun. "You know me personally, I don't go for girls I broke up with, especially after she told me to leave her alone and she has a new man. That's just me though,"

"No offense man, but I know you two just got together. Your new relationship doesn't compare to us," Minjun shrugs while you let out a laugh of disbelief. You and Jake were more comfortable together, by miles, in a short amount of time even if your relationship was based on a facade. After the first two months with Minjun, it felt as though you were walking on eggshells everyday to keep him around, a feeling you remember all too well and ridicule yourself for staying in for so long.

"I mean, you're the ex for a reason right? Our relationship s’not supposed to be like yours," Jake shrugs, a humorless laugh left his lips.

"You guys don't even make sense together!" Minjun was now speaking to you, gesturing between you both with an exasperated expression. "His life is completely different from yours and you know it, why waste time now when it won't even work out,"

You frowned yours brows, not knowing how much he had looked into Jake but either way, being so ambient on your differences seemed to rub you the wrong way. What exactly was he entailing? The fact that Jake was a party guy or he was rich? You grew up attached to the hip with Jay, sure you weren't directly apart of that life but you did know how to act with a cocktail dress and dinning etiquette when you needed to. You truly lacked nothing if the relationship was real and so far, Jake didn't either.

"It's cute to know you've been thinking about me," Before you were able to voice your thoughts, Jake beat you to it. His tone was teasing, though there was a slight edge to it indicating that the cat and mouse play going back and forth was something he began to grow tired of. His had squeezed your hip, somehow subconsciously knowing that your agitation grew as well, it a silent reminder that he was there for you.

Minjun scoffed, seemingly ready to retort but Jake shook his head. "You know, I don't really like being a dick and all," He starts, a small huff of air leaving his lips as if it pained him to continue. Jake's eyes flickered to you, he winked before the bored look was sent back toward Minjun. "But I do take advantage of the benefits that come from my family. Let's just make it easier on all of us since getting the lawyers involved is always so messy, yeah?"

Your eyes widened slightly, certainly not having any thought of any legal precedent but the threat should've been more than enough to get his point across. You felt a shiver run up your spine, thinking back to weeks ago when you got yourself into the situation you were now. She totally would've sued me.

There was a clear of the throat that broke the tension between you three. Ni-ki making his presence known as he sends Minjun a rather large, but most obviously fake, smile.

"I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave since I've had a few customer complaints from the situation that's occurring," He says in his peppy customer service voice, the faux sympathy in his tone adding salt to the wound. Looking around, you take note of the lie considering the lobby had cleared out significantly and not a single person in sight was paying any mind to what was occurring in the corner but you were certainly thankful for the deescalation.

Minjun doesn't say a word. His eyes lock with yours, the silent communication causing you to feel uneasy. For a split second, you almost felt bad for him seeing the look of pleading sincerity, for a second he seemed like the boy you once knew and you couldn't deny the slight tug in your heart that longed for the past. But as Jakes’ hand made its presences know on your back, you shook out of the temporary daze, you subtly moved behind him, using Jake as a shield of sorts and looking away.

You weren't naive enough to fall for that. And your thoughts proved right as Minjun's expression changed in an instant, the look of anger and annoyance familiar but he merely turned and made his way out of the shop without hesitation.

The bitter feeling caused your stomach to turn, picking at the skin of your fingers as you pulled out your phone to check the time.

"You okay noona?" Ni-ki carefully asked, His brows were pinched, a slight frown at his lips taking note of your visibly discomfort.

You nod, placing a smile on your features but it didn't quite reach your eyes. You looked behind him, seeing Sooyun working by herself. "I'm alright, I need to finish my pull before Hejin comes in so support where you can for now," You delegate, already heading toward the back room while footsteps followed soon after.

Jake sighed watching you walk away. He didn't know the full story, certainly didn't want to know the details of how in love you were, but he did know that Minjun was important enough to still bother you after some time apart. A small part of him was selfish, never wanting you to think of anyone like that but him, even though your relationship wasn't even real in the first place, but he knew that was his own jealousy.

The larger part of him felt upset for you though, the crestfallen expression you held more than enough for him to want to hold you and wash all your worries away. In a perfect world, Jake would make sure you'd never feel sad again. He vows to never be the one responsible for your tears, and if he were he'd kick himself and beg for the room in your heart to forgive him.

You stopped by the back freezer, facing the stainless steel doors and you could see Jake's reflection behind you. "I'm alright," You repeat, not having the confidence to turn around knowing your eyes were glossing over and the lump in your throat grew.

Jake hummed, watching you from afar. He watched as you began to count the frozen pastries, having to go over twice losing your train of thought and seemingly looking around aimlessly. You let out a sigh, leaning your head against the frozen rack as you shut your eyes, the cold air that wrapped around your body caused goosebumps to form along your arms, though it did well in stopping the tears that were built up to the brim.

"You know, you're technically not supposed to be back here," You mumble, a hint of amusement in your words though you were rather dejected.

Jake chuckled, shaking his head while you couldn't see it. The two of you stood in silence, not knowing what to say that would make it better. Heavy footsteps sounded as someone entered the back of the house, you peaking from behind the freezer door while Jake straightened up.

Hejin pointed a finger at you as she pulled her apron over her head. Your brows frowned, clicking on the tablet that was stuck to the door to see it only be 5:50. Her keys jangled in her pocket, the lollipop in her mouth muffling her words. "Go home,"

"What?" You let out a small laugh, amused by the loud groan she let out upon her apron getting stuck while pulling it down. "It's not 6:30,"

"I'm here now so go," Hejin huffs, pulling at her ponytail as she nods towards Jake, a silent acknowledgment to his presence but not bothering to ask why he was beside you. "I saw creeps-a-lot in the parking lot. The kid and Sooyun were blowing up my phone to get me here so I chased him away. Go home and relax, I'll make a incident report to let everyone and Mama Cho know to not talk about you and refuse him service from now on,"

Your lips pull into a frown, the tears once again welding up in your eyes. You covered your face out of embarrassment, Hejin clicking her tongue as she waved you off.

"Ay, don't cry," She tuts. "He's not worth it, new boyfriend hug her!" Hejin directs, gesturing between you and Jake causing you to let out a laugh. Jake tilted his head, his arms open as you reluctantly stepped into his embrace. You refused to look at him directly, hiding behind your hands though you could see the fondness in his expression as he stared down at you. "Good, now get out of here. Pretty girls should never cry over ugly men,"

With that, Hejin was out onto the floor. You stifled your laughter, heart pulling at the thought of your work family. She, in particular, was known to be rough around the edges, not one to show praise or direct affection but small acts like these were truly the most meaningful. You made a mental note to treat them in the future, thankful for the saving grace.

Jake pulled away from the hug slight, a small smile perking at his lips as he tilted his head. He gently pulled away your hands from your face, wiping away the few stray tears with the same fond look.

"You know, I don't know how to feel about you crying over another man," He teased causing you to roll your eyes. "Guess I have a lot of work to do to make you forgive him,"

"Forgive?" You echo, raising a brow not following his words.

Jake nods. "You know, for being an idiot but at least it allowed for me and you which is like, a million times better," He says in the most obvious voice causing you to snicker. "Forgive but not forget, or whatever it is that people say,"

"Have you been looking at pinterest quotes?" You laugh while Jake begins to nod wholeheartedly.

"You put me on, it's honestly so chill scrolling. I have like, five different boards I've made so far,"

"Rookie numbers," You tease causing him to mock offense.

"They all have certain aesthetics and are listed in order," He offers causing you to hum.

You nod in approval. "Better,"

Noting that your mood had seem to raise, Jake leans in, placing a small peck to the tip of your nose causing you to let out a small squeal. Your face scrunches up, pulling away from him while he lets out a laugh.

"C'mon, you owe me your time and I think I have the perfect idea to get your pretty little mind off everything,"

"YOU’RE JOKING?"

"What?"

You sent Jake a pointed look, smiling down at the excited animal that jumped into your arms, licking the skin of your cheek while your heart nearly bursted at the sight of her tail wagging so happily. "We've been faking it for over a month and you decided to just tell me you had a dog?"

"Her name's Layla," He laughs, crouching down to the level which you were sat on the floor. As soon as you walked into the door of the unfamiliar apartment, you were greeted by soft paws jumping at your leg along with excited barks for attention. "This is my brother's place, she's a family dog but he has her most of the time since my parents are always out of town. He's on a trip with his friends so he asked me to watch her for the week," Jake cooed as he pet Laylas fur, eyes full of affection and love as she leaned into his touch.

“I’ll watch her for the week,” You smile, gaining her attention once more as you scratched at the spot just behind Laylas’ ears. Her eyes shut as you did so, a small giggle leaving your lips as the dog visibly relaxed to your petting. “I’ll keep her company while you party or whatever you do in that frat house,”

Jake rolled his eyes, his view set on you but you were far too focused on Layla to care. “I haven’t gone to a party in weeks, and if I do you’re with me,” He says pointedly as you merely hum.

“Exactly, you can go do what you want. I’ll stay here with the cutest little puppy I’ve ever seen,” The latter half of your sentence was spoken in a high voice, cooing at Layla who seemed to be happily responsive to it.

Though he liked seeing how well you got along with his childhood pet, Jake tsked. Maybe it was a bad idea bringing you to see her, all of your attention would go to the little border collie instead of him which, admittedly, he couldn’t have.

“What I want,” Jake starts, leaning over to flood your view. “Is for you to not love my dog more than me,” He finished, dangerous close to your lips as you blinked, a small snort leaving your lips.

“Well for one, I barely tolerate you so Layla wins by a long shot,” You tease causing his lips to pout. Lightly pushing Jake away, he ends up sitting directly in front of you, Layla happily pouncing into his lap but still begging for you to provide her with scratches as she rolled over onto her back to expose her stomach. “And two, you can’t be jealous over your own dog. She’s just too cute,”

Jake sighed half heartedly. “You kicking me to the curb now for my dog?”

“Precisely,” You nod, a wide grin playing at your lips that you were unable to resist. It was still between the two of you for a moment, Jake taking the silence to gently place Layla down onto the ground beside you. You rose a brow, noting how he inched closer causing you to move back. “Hey~”

His arms were suddenly thrown around your body, one around your waist while the other was behind your head, blocking the impact of him suddenly tackling you to the hardwood floor. Your laughter filled the air, arms stuck under the weight of his chest and your faces inches apart.

“Too bad, you’re not allowed to get rid of me,” Jake huffs though there was an amused smile playing at his lips. “Say you like me more,”

You gaped in disbelief. “Are you serious?” The response to your question ended up with Jake’s fingers dancing along the skin of your waist, your shirt riding up and him knowing how ticklish you were as you began to squirm beneath him. “H-hey! Okay, s-stop—”

“Say it,” Jake taunts, his laughter mixing with yours.

“O-okay—”

Layla’s loud barks suddenly broke the air before the view of her jumping onto Jake’s head was seen. Your laughs were now from seeing how he yelped at the sudden help you received, rolling off of your body and with Layla still attacking his face with an abundance of kisses, you sat up. Now straddling Jake’s waist, you returned the favor of poking your fingers into his side, moving until you found a spot by his ribs that caused him to squirm around.

“Hey! You can’t team up against me,” Jake called out, unable to move either of you due to the way you sat and how Layla was now perched on his chest to get a better angle of sloppy kisses that he attempted to block. “She’s trying to lick my nose! Baby please—”

“What? I’m giving you attention like you wanted,”

my tags!! @slutforsjy @jaklvbub @whowantshota @addictedtohobi @coolwitu @simjyunnie @kgneptun @graythecoffeebean @143ikeu @zyvlxqht @tesywesy @nxzz-skz @aishisgrey @enczen @vanvity @dreamiestay @caitysdelusions @ikkeumyluv @v3lv3tsin

#enhypen #enhypen jake #jaeyun x reader #sim jaeyun #jake sim #enha x reader #jaeyun smut #jake x reader #enha #enhypen jake smut #enhypen series #jake enhypen #enha series #enhypen jaeyun #enha masterlist #enhypen masterlist

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rigormortissettingin · 5 months ago

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how to get perfect grades from a short attention span girlie that nobody asked for

when you get home from school, rewrite all your notes from all the important classes that day (if you’re a british slag like me then just do all your gcse subjects)

learn how to do deep work: work for a really long period of time with barely any breaks where you don’t get distracted and get shit done — having noice cancelling headphones whilst listening to white noise etc works best for me

don’t let anything distract you, put your phone away in another room, etc

if you can’t concentrate, before your revision sesh, stare at a still object for 1 min to help with your focus

have a schedule/a weekly routine!!! i know you’re lazy and have been avoiding making one so here’s my routine: on school days I rewrite all my notes from the classes (that you care about) that day and do some homework then leave the rest for the weekends

mindset is EVERYTHING. be positive about everything in your life and stop being a pessimistic bitch. everything will be okay. jeez.

for music, find a few white noise/focus music playlists and listen to them with noise cancelling headphones for most intense focus (linking my fav spotify playlists below)

write everything out by hand. don’t be lazy you dumb fucker and type everything up on quizlet. quizlet is bullshit and you know it. it’s been scientifically proven that writing things out help you remember them better

go over things early in the morning and late at night (quickly proven to stick in your brain more)

find what works best for you. find your perfect environment, music, time of day to revise, method etc. i work best in my room after 4 pm by using flash cards I have written out by hand

don’t let food distract you!!! if you have snacks nearby but you’re eating them instead of working then put them away

have an app for revision. study bunny if my favourite one it’s so cute but it doesn’t distract me

holidays are a blessing. dedicate some time every day in the holidays for revision, even if it’s not a lot

have a good balance between school and other hobbies. i would say have a good social life but i honestly don’t think having one is that important. or at least it’s not important to me, but if you want a good social life then go for it

have goals for the future, like if you want to go to uni and where you want to go if you do, what field you want to specialise in, etc and work towards them

if you want to exceed in school then you have to make revision and academic excellence your coping mechanism or a safe haven to calm you down

reading books, especially literature helps so much with everything. not just your vocabulary but it also helps your understanding of the world and helps you see everything in a different light. and don’t give me that “but i do read” bullshit because tiktok smut twisted love twisted hate icebreaker all that crap that you’re not even old enough to read don’t count. my fav books if you need any recs: the virgin suicides (not literature, just well-written), the secret history (not literature, just well-written), girl, interrupted (again, well written but not literature), crime and punishment, carmilla, dracula, alice in wonderland, emma, pride and prejudice, sense and sensibility, much ado about nothing, a midsummer nights dream, rebecca, the outsiders, little, women and loads more

delete social media if it worsens your mental health or your grades. deleting tiktok has been the best decision of my entire life, i was so unhappy for so long because endlessly scrolling was a coping mechanism but now im actually happy for once in my life and my grades are quite good

pray like you didn’t revise and revise like you didn’t pray

i have to have a number 20 because odd numbers besides 13 and 7 annoy me

thank you

#Spotify #revision #studyblr #study motivation #romanticising studying #study blog #studyspo #studying #study aesthetic #study with me #study #academic validation #academic weapon #academic excellence

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starsomens · 1 year ago

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can you write something about noah taking care of you when you’re on your period?? 🤭

💌✨

A/N: these came out more like Headcannons but IM SO SOREY THIS IS LATE BBY

I see him as the type to know your dates

“Hey it’s the 3rd tomorrow, you want to reschedule cuz of your period?”

Very considerate when it comes to and doesn’t want you pushing yourself when you’re not feeling good

If you’re the type to have like severe pain, I know he is absolutely prepared and he knows the early signs

Uses his big hands to his advantage because that’s be honest and very warm hand cramps would be phenomenal

If he does have to go into the studio that day or run some errands, he make sure to bring back any kind of comfort food or your favorite snacks. Sometimes we even grab some heating pads if it will help

He makes sure to write down specifically what kind of medication are products that you like that help you.

If you’re the type to be very sleepy and take a lot of naps, he will definitely be your human mattress and will not move a muscle while you take a nap on him

Cancel plans and tell his friends it’s because you’re not feeling good he has to take care of you

"Yeah we can meet up later....mhm..well depends on how she feels then I could pass by and pick those up let me check with her real quick"

Im convinced juts how he is with aftercare is him on your period days but doubled.

ALL IM SAYING IS IF YOU ASKED HIM TO, HE'D HAVE PERIOD SEX WITH YOU ! DOES THE RESEARCH ON IT !

I picture him going along with mood swings so if you go from happy to pissed asf he’s backing you up ON EVERYTHING! Mad that some random car cutting you off he’s adding wood to the fire

“Stupid fucking asshole can’t drive”

“…..you want me to rear end him-?”

he gets your shower ready and places your pads on so you can just slip them on and get dressed.

Keeps the bedroom drawer and the bathroom STOCKED with pads, so you’re never rlly out, he knows when you finish a pack and replaces them on the next trip to the grocery store.

Gives you massages whenever you’re feeling sore and keeps his hands in your when you need something warm :)

#bad omens #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian #star’s anons✨#💌✨ anon #bad omens fanfiction

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marcusbrutus · 4 months ago

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I feel like I have a tumblr anon in my brain…. Like a tiny cop. But it’s an chronically online anonymous weirdo. And every thought I have, I get “anons” telling me how it’s problematic and I should kill my self LOL The other morning I saw an RFK sign and I thought doesn’t he have brain worms, someone running for president shouldn't have brain worms. maybe apply for literally any other job. and the anon was like ummm ableist much? Like WHAT. I turned off anon on tumblr a while ago, so even if I post something “risky”, someone will have to tell me what they think to my face. They can’t hide. Even posts I think are innocuous can be wildly misinterpreted, and someone will probably call me problematic. But even if no one says anything, I still hear it. In my brain. Sometimes I delete things because the thought is so strong. I’m probably not gonna make it to any heaven or enlightenment because I can’t forgive yourfaveisproblematic. In my mind, Tumblr was great before then, or at least it felt that way, and that blog sewed the seeds for cancel culture in the future. That stuff sticks to my brain, even if I don’t want it too. When you put sins like "said disabled people shouldn't be alive" on the same level as "has a tattoo in a language they don't natively speak," it is very confusing to a people-pleasing undiagnosed autistic 14 year old. I felt/feel like I can’t like anyone or anything because it’s ~problematic~ I worry it will never go away, because it affected me in my developing years, 14-19 I want to get better, but it’s hard. I wish I could run from the internet, but I can’t. It’s a part of life now. It’s how we stay connected. But it’s also like…. Idk. The internet used to be my safe space, right? Deviantart. Early tumblr. Seeing weird people like me made me feel less alone. I was a weeb surrounded by “preps” for lack of a better word, not that I didn’t have friends but NONE of them were into what I was into, you know? And no one became as obsessive about things like books and anime like I did, except online. But now it’s like, idk, corruption of the garden of Eden. But instead of me eating the fruit, the garden/internet ate the fruit. The world is too different now… I can’t keep up. And it’s not just because I’m getting older. Things happen faster now. Trends will last half a year when in the past they would have lasted a decade. I hate knowing everything all of the time. I hate that my garden is now a cesspool.

I’m just angry that people on tumblr and lefty spaces online are so blind to their own propaganda, and calling it out is “hate.” Like idk, I guess I expected better from people who are supposed to be ~intellectuals~. Well, if YouTube video essays have taught me anything, style over substance goes a LONG way. And they’re like “oh we’re so compassionate and we want a better future” but they tell everyone to kill themselves and laugh when red states get devastated by natural disasters it's not just that but it's like…. if you're not constantly aware of everything, you're ~part ofthe problem~ #wakeupamerica. silence is violence, blah blah blah. it's just hard because i grew up with a strict dad so learned to be a people pleaser. i'm extremely sensitive to guilt and shame. and all most of the internet has done since 2014 is shame everyone for everything. you're either with Us (good, pure, morally righteous) or you're with Them (problematic, evil). you don't want to be gasp problematic, do you? you don't want to have a callout post made about you and lose all your friends, right? well, keep you nose clean and reblog all the right posts so we know which side you're on an maybe, maybe we'll leave you alone. i have the stress of someone in debt to a mob boss. nah it's more like… i have the stress of everyone in the scarlet letter and im hoping everyone will keep their eyes on the Villain of the Week and leave me alone there's a decent video called "how to radicalize a normie." i say decent because it treats radicalization like a right-wing only issue and the "answer" to right wing radicalization is, of course left wing radicalization. "Even though they're on the bad, evil side, there's still hope because we can get them to our good, morally righteous side!" That kinda bs, and I say bs not in a left vs right way. According to my dad I'm a full blown communist! I'm saying it in the sense that the answer to radicalization isn't "just radicalize them to the other side." That's not at all helpful. You might as well tell an alcoholic who likes jameson to just switch to jack daniels. It's all poison, it's all harmful. ANYWAY, he talks about how most people don't set out to be radicalized, the politics comes to them. That happened to me - but on the left. And I'm sure if I left a comment on his video saying as much, he'd say it didn't happen or say it was a good thing. On tumblr, I came for anime. And for the first year, I got anime. But then I got really intense political stuff. "silence is violence." "i see you not reblogging this." "if you're not angry, you're not paying attention." I was 14-15, sheltered as fuck, I don't know anything about the world but now tumblr is convincing me that I know more about political issues than anyone. And it changed me. And it fucked me up. and I want to get unfucked. But I don't know how. I feel like an internet alcoholic. Like, even if I do stop using it, it will still be there, haunting me, forever, you know? because all my friends use it, not just you guys but irl friends. and the internet is effecting the real world. I miss the days when there was the internet, then there was reality. but now the internet is the reality. That's why I also fell so hard for the [REDACTED] stuff. Tumblr made me think everyone was [REDACTED] because like 99% of tumblr is [REDACTED], and I was worried about it because god help you if you question anything or show the slightest bit of concern. God help you if you're not full steam ahead on everything. I want to escape the matrix. I hate the hypocrisy…. And I hate even more that I’m also a hypocrite. I fall for group think and propaganda but act like I’m above it all. I hate social media but use it every day. YouTube too. I guess that’s why I get so mad when I see them act like that. It reminds me of me. People think the consequences of social media on a teenage girl are like "omg I was feeling good about myself….. but then I saw a model on Instagram… alas. I will never be her. I weep."

But it's more like: Oh my gosh, I just saw a post asking for mutual aid (aka MONEY, BABY) and I scrolled past. What if they died because they couldn’t afford food because I didn’t reblog their post? But what if I DID reblog their post, but it was a scam, and I led my followers to give money to someone who didn’t need it instead of someone who did?

I was hoping to share more examples, but I'm worried someone will misinterpret, and even though anon is off, the anon in my brain is on. always. on. i keep going back to the internet because i keep expecting it to get good again… like how it was. for some reason, i can't accept that it will no longer be my safe space. i wish i had a massive angel to keep me out, or something. like the actual garden of eden. I have to accept that it will never get better. I have not only an addiction to the internet, but to the obsessive thoughts it brings. By wishing it will get better, and continuing to use it, I am chasing a dragon. That is to say, I'm hoping for the same feelings I got from initially using the internet. No one ever catches the dragon. anyway, if you read all that... thank you so much! i'm taking a break from the internet, until mid november at least. maybe by then, it will be better. or not. we'll see.

#moral ocd #chronically online #terminally online #scrupulosity #essay #internet addiction #yourfaveisproblematic #cancel culture #long post

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ooooshetriesss · 20 days ago

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Announcement/Update Cat parents of MALE CATS SPECIFICALLY! If their under 8 &/or u’ve yet to learn about ‘the possibility of obstruction (something that CAN & WILL happen to certain genetically predisposed cats; swap them to wet food for their safety & PLEASE READ)

Hey guys💔 Todays rope had to be canceled. I had to rush one of my boys to ER. It was pretty serious, pretty scary & after 2 days I was finally able to bring him home but, I’m gonna have to keep an eye on him.Because of his size & the meds he needed; they hit him heavy so, he needs help going to the bathroom & using the water bowl.

Thank you to everyone whose reached out via IG as this was going down; if I didn’t get back to you, my apologies; it’s been a bit hectic but Im sincerely grateful for everyone’s concern.

IF U HAVE MALE CATS; SWAP THEM TO WET FOOD FOR THEIR SAFETY if u wanna spare a 1k vet bill,

(I was so shocked to hear both the vet & a lot of my fellow cat owners say “yeah it’s common, most ppl just don’t find out their cats intolerant till the worst happens; & because cats mask so well; at that point, it can truly be serious…)

I know Miami is densely populated but not everyone is 10 mins away from a vet. Also times are tough; I cannot stomach the idea of someone losing their cat cause they didn’t have 1000$ on standby (which who the fk has that these days)

I want to make this last part exceptionally clear..,

I am someone who has had a job since before I was legally allowed to obtain one… I’m one of millions of Americans who couldn’t afford college nor qualify for financial aid… I have worked to the BONE In everything from service industry, to blue collar, to maintenance(both in terms of house keeping & even assembling & maintenance of salt water aquariums..was even a groutsmith) like most Americans, I’ve never had insurance & lived paycheck to paycheck + have made just enough to get by since I was 15.

I didn’t have ‘luxurious purchases’ I had medical bills I couldn’t even afford a regular minimum payment on… I didn’t save for ‘exuberant trips’ … I saved to get a weeks worth of groceries…

I never bought a car..: but some days I spent just as much as I made just to get to work ..(& while the men were praised for riding their bikes & showing “that type of initiative…” I was berated for showing up to work “in such a condition” “It doesn’t matter u come in early /before we open to “fix urself up”

When YOU WALK IN THRU THAT DOOR, U WALK/TALK/COME IN LIKE UR ALREADY ON THE CLOCK… U SHOULD BE COMING IN EARLY ANYWAY (just for them to yell at u for actually coming in early)

The ONLY REASON, I (someone who would literally run into a burning building & d*e for their animals; for animals who weren’t even mine) someone who would miss meals so they could eat THE best food…someone who LOVES & is DEDICATED to their creatures, who would do ANYTHING for them, & MOST importantly..

Someone who was DUMB/NAIVE ENOUGH to be ‘the hardest worker in the room for souless companies/selfish ppl for 30+ yrs was ONLY CAPABLE of getting my baby THAT care NOT because of a “traditional (what yall call ‘honest days work’) IT WAS BECAUSE OF WHAT IS CONSIDERED SW. full fucking stop.

& because I had a women who had both a virtually non interest credit card AND my back♥️ (I’ve told u once, I’ll say it again; Grandmas a gangster)

I know SM likes to frame SW as an option for women who “don’t feel like working/ want expensive luxuries things & are looking for a free ride..”

What we’re lookin for is a career that allows us to still man the ship the way we need to, we’ve been expected to..

It allows us not just means for survival, but the capacity to do so WHILE we continue to be the caretakers of our family & (for some particularly exceptional women) the caretakers of our community…

I wanna make it SO clear this is NOT A DIG to ANYONE, ESPECIALLY the vet& staff that helped us & are appreciated SOOO DEEPLY. These are ppl who are overwhelmed, burnt out like the rest of us, expect unlike nurses, they usually aren’t given a 1/4 of the respect other medical professionals are. PLEASE be kind to them. (I know it’s difficult when emotions are high)

But while this was not my regular content, I know ALOT animal lovers on here… times are tough, there only gonnna get tougher… information is invaluable..

1 week before this happened; 1 woman made a video sharing how she JUST lost her MALE CAT (due to this)

Because of THAT video, I was aware this could even happen…

Because of a incredible vet & her team who TRUSTED me when I said “I will figure out the money, u have my WORD” my boy is safe & while expensive; they made it as affordable as possible…

And because of another woman who had my back w/a piece of plastic at the drop of a hat, I was able to bring him home.

And because of some incredible supporters & community like yall who like my content & share it, push it into the algo, find me on other platforms s & interact, even if they can’t financially contribute.. because of being lucky enough to be supported; I was able to make that happen for my boy. Every single variable is what came together to keep him here today & my heart… can’t even think of how to properly thank you all.

The community looked out for me.. & while this post may be all I have to give back ATM.. it’s what I got..

MALE CATS=WET FOOD TO BE SAFE!!!

(Also, CONSTANT FRESH WATER SOURCE BOTH BY & away from their food ; by their food so they have some to access while eating & some away so it stays fresh & can help them pass more easily.)

Love u guys xoxoxo.

We’ll be resuming to our regular scheduled content next week lol

Till then, xoxoox - hummingbird + ‘Fil’ @ooooshetriesss

#cats #cat #caturday #spicy creator #emergency #information #informative

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iinryer · 4 months ago

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I wanna get into boxing so baaad I need to get back to my jock roots too lol any tips??

CHOMPING AT THE BIT EVERYONE SHOULD TRY BOXING ITS MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLDDDD

oh my god ok. my starter tip is to find a gym! it may seem super intimidating, but there are beginners gyms and no-contact gyms that aren’t really for sparring or training as much as they are for learning and general cardio workouts!! those are a GREAT place to start to get familiar with it.

im not sure where you’re located, but i recommend TITLE boxing gyms! theyre a chain and sooooo so beginner friendly, scheduled time slots (which helps for people like me who need external structure) that can be added and cancelled via their app, they’re no-contact (it’s all heavy bag and equipment work, not sparring), and when I started going they did first session free and they let you borrow gloves! the only thing i had to buy were hand wraps which was like $10. they had me arrive a little early and showed me the gym, introduced me to the trainer for that night, showed me how to wrap my hands, and walked me through all six strikes! i joke that the sessions are like boxing jazzercise 😂 it’s music and a bunch of people at heavy bags with a trainer on mic calling combos! they also format the workouts like boxing rounds too which is fun

it’s been a couple of years so I don’t do group guided workouts anymore, but it was SUCH a great way to get started. now I train with friends or just book an open gym slot so i can heavy bag on my own or use the other equipment etc.

if you’re not vibing with the concept of hard mode joining an actual training and sparring gym right off the jump, i highly recommend finding a TITLE-esque gym in your area! they will get you set up with literally everything you need to do it for the first time, and then from there you can kind of tailor what you want it to be! i have tons of hand wraps and two pairs of gloves now, i even have proper boxing shoes and i train on occasion—but mostly I just do solo workouts when i get the chance! you might be into immediately pursuing a sparring track and get geared the fuck up, or maybe you’ll just always borrow gloves from a led-cardio gym, ymmv! but imo it’s a really really great way to just get your foot in the door and figure out what you like!

anyways. i love boxing. everybody should try boxing

#HFJFHDF THX FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK #iinryer mailbox

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danganronpasurvivoraskblog · 9 months ago

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So…

//Handily before anyone else brings it up I just received the news that Warner Bros studios have made the decision to shut down Rooster Teeth after 2 decades of that company being around. And I figured I’d bring it up before anyone else did.

//The timing feels all too…perfect? Weird? Convenient? It’s hard to put words on it, but it seems strangely coincidental that I started finally showing off my Death Battle related content and the company that owns Death Battle are now getting shut down, which means Death Battle may not even continue.

//Theres something funny about that, but also something so miserable. Obviously DB hasn’t been mentioned in the list of Rooster Teeth’s shows as of yet. All that’s been said is RWBY, GenLock and Red Vs Blue are going to be up for sale.

//Considering Death Battle first started as a simple internet web series by ScrewAttack, I’m pretty confident that Ben, Chad and the others involved with it will find a way to persist. And let’s be perfectly honest. If they don’t continue Death Battle, somebody else will.

//As for Rooster Teeth itself, I have very mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, it’s no secret to anybody that the things that have happened with that company are all kinds of fucked up. Back when it first got founded, people connected because it felt like they were doing things right as an indie company, and as time went on and RT got bigger, it just got worse. I obviously won’t recount those horror stories, but suffice to say that I personally don’t like Rooster Teeth as a company as much as I used to.

//That said, I hate Warner Bros SO much more.

//If they had the power, Im quite confident that Warner Bros would utterly destroy the entertainment business entirely. And yes, not just movies, but tv, animation, video games; basically everything they’ve dipped their toes into would be utterly poisoned, because for some reason they’re dead set on cancelling the best things they put out for the sake of tax.

//Rooster Teeth aren’t great, but a lot of what they did back in the early 2000’s was walk so that indie animation today can run.

//Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, Lackadaisy, Spooky Month, Murder Drones, Meta Runner, Digital Circus, The reason why there’s been such a resurgence of original indie animation is because the big leagues like Warner are FAILING FAILING FAILING to make things that people genuinely enjoy. And Rooster Teeth, small as they were back in the day; are one of the first real examples of an indie studio making projects.

//So while I wouldn’t outright try to defend the company, there are aspects of Warners decision that leave a bad taste in my mouth. And god dammit, if the cap isn’t sealed shut on this company, sooner or later we’re all gonna be fucked.

//This is just me expressing my opinion though. We have to keep moving on no matter how hard some of these companies make it.

//I don’t plan on prematurely ending this arc because of the Rooster Teeth issues, and if this is one final farewell to Death Battle, then all the more reason to see it through.

-Mod

#mod #important notice #death battle #rooster teeth #warriors of other worlds arc

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pebblysand · 1 year ago

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Heyyyy im dying for an update on castles!! Any hope of getting one soon?😭💗

hi anon! thanks for your message! the tl;dr answer to this is: no.

or, i don't know. maybe? sigh. it's just been a lot lately.

it's a funny one, you know? most of you will not remember this, but there used to be a time when i would share (maybe overshare - is that a word? i've always wondered why that is a word when it's your platform and your rules and people can just choose to ignore you) on tumblr. not just about fics and writing and peaky blinders, but also about me. the stuff i felt. the stuff that was going on in my life. lots of things.

i grew up in an era of blogging and livejournal (seeing dreamwidth make a comeback lately is oh-so-bizarre, btw) where people opened up online - sometimes too much. this was before doxxing, before cancel culture, before it became dangerous to do so. people would complain about their jobs, their mates - the internet was an outlet. and, i don't know if it was better or worse, i'm not here to make value judgements and i've always thought people who say "things were better in my day" sound like absolute twats, but it was undoubtedly different. i've had this conversation with someone on discord lately, about the dreamwidth comeback actually, when this person said: 'people get real personal on there, though' and i was like: 'yeah, i suppose it's just the culture of the place.' a place where, unlike tumblr and everything that came after it, most of the content produced was through words, rather than images. when the internet was still made for writers and you weren't afraid of "clogging" someone's dash with posts that were too long to be digested in less than ten seconds.

the thing is: i like writing. it makes it easier to organise thoughts. and, up to 2020 (2021, even) i used to post monthly updates on my writing, but also about my life, for you. remember how i told you when i passed my bar exam? how i quit my job, found another job, and then another one. i told you about the boy and hinted at my break-up. i told you about how one of my best friends sank into a very toxic relationship, from which i couldn't save her. i told you when my dad died. it wasn't even that long ago. and, i explained to you that for these reasons, and maybe others, i didn't have a chapter out as early as i would have liked. and, you understood. you were kept up with what was going on. it was the pandemic and a different time.

but then, gradually (oh-so-quickly and oh-so-slowly), "you" became "many." i like that word - "many" - it's what my hairdresser said the first time she cut my hair: "they are very fine, but there are very, very, many of them." i suppose that between the first chapter of castles and the latest, my follower count grew into the hundreds and i got - well, scared. scared to share: what i thought, why i wasn't posting, how much or how little i was writing, how i was feeling. because there were too many of you. because i started to hold myself up to higher standards, too.

the truth is that no one wants to listen to anyone on the internet complain. it's not fun. and, specifically, no one wants to listen to fanfiction writers complain. why would they? why would they moan about how busy they are? about how creatively drained they might be? about how maintaining a healthy balance between real life, a job, and writing, is hard, if you do it seriously. because it's a hobby. because it's not "real" writing. because it doesn't matter.

well, anon, i'll tell you something. the voice in my head, it goes like this: why are you tired? it's just fanfiction. stop taking yourself and your little stupid story so seriously. stop thinking this is Important because you're writing about something you feel is important. no one cares. and: you only wrote 80,000 words last year, people write full-blown nanos in a month, calm down. it's not that bad, you don't have children. it's not that bad, you don't have dying parents. it's not that bad, you have money. you're a white cis privileged girl who can afford to spend her free time on writing because you don't have to work multiple paying jobs to foot the bills. so many people do. people who are much busier than you write a lot more than you do. shut up, what are you crying about? why are you responding to this poor anon with anything other than "soon, i hope." they weren't even mean about it.

and, i like the word "many" because it encompasses the realness of it, the repetition of it. many, many, many. it's less theoretical than "a lot". you can't say: a lot, a lot, a lot. it's morning as i write this, irish drizzle blown in by the wind against my window, thin droplets like static and i wonder: could i isolate thirty thousand? count up to thirty thousand little drops of rain against glass and imagine what that would look like as people. that's a small stadium, isn't it? and, it's also almost how many people have clicked on castles, in the past three years. it's also how many people, in my head, are telling me to just suck it up and write the next chapter. it's been a month already, hasn't it?

to tell you the truth, i still overshare with some people. there's a very small discord i'm on which is more like a group chat with my best internet friends. it's a lot of fun. and, i'm not going to tag them here for fear that you might come at them with pitchforks, but after i was explaining this to them, how exhausted and drained and lost i've been feeling lately, i had some, last week, tell me i should just give up castles. just stop, recharge, take care of myself. it's just a fic, it doesn't matter. let it go, you know?

so, yeah. you read that right, anon dearest. people who i really love, and trust, told me i should put your beloved on an indefinite hiatus and move on with my life. how's that for an update? and, they didn't say it in a "this is a bad fic and it's not worth continuing" kind of way, but in a "it's not worth working yourself into the ground" kind of way. in a "fanfiction is a hobby" kind of way.

i typically count years from september to august (i'm still in school, in my head, sue me) and this past one has been long and hard. for reasons that i won't explain because of the "very many" issue i mentioned above. for reasons that i also won't explain because as i also mentioned above, i can't help but always compare myself to people who have it worse. but, the fact of the matter is that whilst i'm not really asking for sympathy, i do want to say this, as i hope it will help provide a bit of context to how i'm feeling right now, in terms of writing.

anon dearest, i'm exhausted. i'm bored. i'm turning thirty in 24 days. i'm sick and tired of putting everything in my life on hold "until i finish castles". i would estimate that right now (and for the past three years) castles has eaten up about 75% of my free time. i think the first couple years, i didn't really mind. because it was the pandemic. because there wasn't much else i wanted to do. but now, when i see my friends, i try to schedule it on weekday evenings because i want to keep my weekends for writing. when i travel at the weekends, take holidays, do anything that will take me more than a couple hours, it's a compromise made against writing time. a compromise i often feel guilty about because it delays the next update and because ultimately, it delays the moment when i do finish castles. when i am able to move on to something else. move on with my life and also maybe another story of my own.

these past few months, i wrote almost every day from late march until last week because i knew i'd be going home to france in august and wouldn't be able to write there, so i needed to get ahead. everything in my life is planned around writing and updating and i'm a little bit burnt out, anon. it's typical summer me, nothing to really worry about, i felt the same last year (those who were already here will remember) but it doesn't make it suck less. and, that's why people are telling me to give up. because i keep getting stuck in this cycle of overworking myself, getting burnt out, taking a month off and diving back in again. it's fanfiction and it's a hobby and it's meant to be fun and it's just not fun anymore. it feels endless and draining and like a vampire eating my "good" years. time my mates are spending getting married and having children. and, even if i don't think that's what i want for myself, precisely, i still don't feel like the life i'm currently living is one i want to be living in five years' time.

i don't want to be exhausted. i don't want to be working all the time. this groundhog day of getting up, opening up my (work, or personal) laptop, deliveroo-ing my meals, working until 9:30 pm, and repeat. i have seven chapters left to go to the end, which will take 12 to 18 months, and i don't think i can go on like this for another year. i don't want to. something's gotta give: my IRL life, my job, or this "hobby", and it is logical (oh-so-logical) that it should be the latter.

and, yet. when my pocket friends suggested this, i came at them with pitchforks. i said: no. no, no, no, no. i can't give up. i don't want to give up. i love this story. it's unnerving and draining and exhausting, but haven't touched it for a week and i already miss it - it's crazy. and, it's true: it's not fun, but writing, to me, has never been "fun". it's: fulfilling, exhilarating, meaningful, it gives me the chills and a sense of peace but it's not "fun". i don't know who the fuck writes for "fun". you can enjoy things that aren't "fun", you know? i definitely do.

and, if i had to pick one thing to give up on that list, honestly, it would be my job - 100%. i'd finish castles in six months, if i could give that up. but, i can't, lovely anon. because fanfic doesn't pay. because writing doesn't pay. and whilst i do have a savings account that i intend to use someday to take time off to write, i don't think i could justify using it for anything other than original fiction. because at least, there would be a tiny bit of hope that the book might get picked up and i could make my money back. i can't, like, quit my job to write fanfiction, can i? even if i did set up a patreon, i doubt you all would want to fund me, lol.

so, i don't know. i don't know what to do, anon. i don't want to give up castles. realistically, i probably won't. realistically, i'm probably going to keep ploughing through and overworking myself and feeling like i'm throwing my youth and my free time away into this project that everyone will most likely forget the moment it is finished. right now, to answer your question, i have about 6,000 words on the new chapter. right now, i'm also taking august off writing. to recharge, to sleep, and only write if i feel like it. later? i don't know. i think i'm in a place where i've just got 30,000 words out in three months and i'm too brain-dead to think clearly. i am acutely aware that this issue doesn't have a solution (or at least one that i like) but i might be more willing to compromise my life again after a bit of rest and holidays.

anyway, sorry for being a debbie downer, anon. and sorry i don't have an update for you. i'm dying for one, too.

#asked and answered #castles #i might delete this later cause it's so depressing and it's not *me* but it's also how i feel right now #i just don't know what to do lads

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mrsterlingeverything · 10 months ago

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So being prejudiced against people from your own community (and other communities) is fine under the guise of keeping it real, speaking whatever we want, and not being afraid? i didn't even know ayesha was trans when i read her tweets about kim being "castrated" as a child, but now it feels worse because she's trans cause she's attacking someone from her own community? she can say whatever she wants, i don't care, it just feels like you really like justifying shitty behavior from singers if you like their music instead of just admitting their behavior is pure shit and you don't really care about how they behave as long as their music is nice.

i didn't even know exactly who ayesha was before i saw someone retweeting about her calling out kim for working with dr luke which I was like "oh, yes, get her ass" but then she tweeted shit about kim's transition and that's when she crossed the line.

"no 12 is when kim's parents got her castrated, 12 is when i was being a kid and growing up x"

"exactly my point. you did nothing with this. while i worked my ASSS off to get any sort of my attention for my music, she was on tv talking about getting axe wounded at 12 by her rich ass parents."

re: azealia - i didnt'even see anything about azealia banks in her tweets, but miss banks can also go away with her transphobic shit. she has a talent with words, for sure, but she consistently uses her talent for evil WHICH SHE'S ALLOWED TO IF SHE WANTS that's up to her morals, but you don't need to justify it as "oh she's just keeping it real, i respect that", you see what i mean? like whichever music you like, you are still someone i really care about and enjoy, it's just odd to go to bat for these singers who keep showing their ass all the time.

This is a funny conversation because i haven't read some of those tweets either until you mentioned them like the axe wound tweet for example... ew. Umm. Its complicated. Maybe not for you... but to me, there's something about... people saying what they think even if other people think its nasty that i find respectable.

I think those tweets from ayesha about kim are disgusting, but im just not the type of person to cancel someone completely from my life when they do something wrong. Everyone does good and bad things, i dont think some bad things negate lots of good things, although lots of people do think that these days.

The way i see it, everyone thinks things that someone else would find disgusting. I dont know you anon but if you spoke or posted all your thoughts theres someone out there who would think some of them are disgusting, because theres people with all sorts of opinions. It doesnt mean you shouldnt speak your mind. Sharing ideas is very important or we end up in our small social media bubbles and dont understand other world views, or other cultures for that matter.

Regarding me saying that ayesha is more qualified to talk about transgender people as a trans person, i mean that while i find her tweets to be disgusting, i know there are some detrans people even on here who think that 12 is possibly too early for the medical transition that kim had. Its not really my place to say as a cis person, thats what i meant. I think at the very least its complicated and while you can say its great for people to transition that early, i think its great for some people to, and probably harmful to others based on personal anecdotes that ive read.

I hope i answered everything, lots of topics here. Also i want to say that i really enjoy conversation like this, i think its good for all of us to be exposed to different ideas :) ily anon

#long post #transphobia

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seongminiz · 1 year ago

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camboy!taeyoung thoughts !!

minors dni ; camboy roommate!taeyoung x afab!reader ; word count: ~770

warnings : not very detailed smut ; masturbation ; dont know how but this mighttt count as dubcon since both taeyoung n reader r doing everything behind each others back ? ; kind of exhibitionism idk ; i overuse the („• ᴗ •„) emoticon bc im insane

based on that one taeyoung video , might be- no its definitely all over the place , not proof read , was supposed to post this last night but i fell asleep , pls guys dont make fun of me idk how long i can still pull the autistic aroace lesbian card to defend myself from the shitty writer allegations , im very sleepy rn :3 , might post a part 2 if anyone is interested bc im not done with the thoughts („• ᴗ •„)

camboy taeyo- GETS RAN OVER BY A TRAIN

my god my god my god

he'd sometimes use fleshlights n stuff like that but nothinggg would beat when hes fucking his hand n cums all over his toned abs („• ᴗ •„) n he'd tease his audience sooo much ! being all cocky n mostly in a dom mood ,, but the most fun streams of his r the ones where hes more subby :( begging n whining n trying sooo hard not to come too early bc being this vulnerable in front of an audience makes him more sensitive n turned on •v• camboy tyoungie i fucking love u thats it

and and and and

roommate!taeyoung who also works as a camboy to have some extra money to spend on himself . u dont know abt it , u just assume hes rlly loud n horny all the time - which, hey, u cant rlly blame him for it - but u do question if hes that loud bc he wants u to hear him ,, if only u knew how ur guess isn't that far fetched , taeyoung having to keep himself from moaning ur name everytime he streams, touching himself to the thought of u - on top of him or under him , anywhere , he doesn't care , just thinking abt u is enough . and if only he knew how u took an habit of touching urself at the same time, ur bed being conveniently against the wall confining with his room .. u dont even worry abt taeyoung hearing u , you pride yourself in being on the quieter side - you really aren't and taeyoung anxiously checks if his mic is picking up on ur sounds every single time he hears u . until one eventful day - while taeyoung is out at the gym or something - u realize oh shit , u r unbelievably horny n ur personal jerk off material isn't home ,, u r so desperate , nothing you find on twitter or even those shitty porn sites seems to do the job , it's almost like you've conditioned yourself to only feel good bc of taeyoung </3 at some point , doom scrolling ur twitter tl u come across an account u follow promoting their ,, streaming channel on some obscure website that sounds like a scam . no its definitely a scam . you've never had that much of an interest in this kind of content , but you figure at this point u could try anything to get rid of how unbearably horny u r . again, nothing of what you're seeing piques your interest, until u see the thumbnail of a specific vod from a few days prior. despite being darker, you can still realize the room looks eerily similar to yours - to taeyoung's. u shake ur head, giving yourself a few slaps for good measure and whispering to yourself to 'fucking snap out of it', there's no way you're so down bad for ur roommate u r starting to imagine him as one of these camboys. no way. but u still cant fight the urge to click on the video, maybe the resemblance to taeyoung is what can get u to finally feel good . you hurriedly put your oh so beloved noise canceling headphones on and turn the volume up. that's when your heart sinks and u freeze, hand stopping halfway inside your shorts bc holy shit that sounds a little too much like taeyoung, n u r now a hundred percent sure u saw those same bedsheets in his room four days ago - coincidentally the same day this was streamed, and yes thats his shirt, the one that always drives u insane bc he looks a little too good in it .... before u know it , you're on ur third vod of his , basically binge watching all of his past streams and on the verge of tears with how much you've been overstimulating yourself . you're so lost in it u dont realize taeyoung has come back home around the midst of 2nd video or so , and knows exactly what ur up to when he hears u moaning his name . poor boy is fighting the urge to just burst into your room , telling himself it wouldn't be morally right to do so - as if jerking off to the thought of his roommate while streaming or standing right by their door as he starts to slowly palm himself over his pants while listening to you getting off is any more decent ,,

this might stay ur little secret , both too shy to confront each other abt it ,, or maybe taeyoung will just have to wait for a repeat of that day to catch you red handed and finally get what he's been craving for weeks („• ᴗ •„)

#🍰 seongminiz !#🧇 crvt !#cravity hard hours #cravity smut #taeyoung smut #btw op on twitter deleted the video i feel miserable #(i literally downloaded it on my phone)

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nicheappeal · 2 months ago

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are you talking about I don't go to parties here yet? I know im cheating bc it's not published but I love it so! answer in private if you must but ...

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

I did post a bit of it for a wip wednesday here! before it had a name though. I'm happy to talk about it here.

Context for everyone else: i don't go to parties is a fic in which Hyunjin is gangraped at a party as a brand new trainee. Jisung is involved, but convinces himself it's fine. (Hyunjin is unconscious, and has no idea Jisung was there.) Over the course of the fic, he gets to know Hyunjin and slowly realizes that no, actually, what happened was extremely not fine.

So, the first and most obvious answer is, I chose them b/c I am extremely horny about them. But there's other parts to the answer.

1 ) I am actually kind of fascinated/preoccupied with Hyunjin's relationship to his own beauty. It seems like he has kind of a complex relationship to it, where on one hand he wants to be beautiful, he wants to be admired and seen etc. But on the other, he wants to be recognized for his talent and not his beauty, to the point that it seems like being seen as just a pretty face is a sore spot for him. Not to mention the way he (and Felix, but early on less so Felix) is clearly the visual, but the group will adamantly refuse to say so (so as to recognize his skills instead, I believe). I explore this theme a lot more thoroughly in pussyverse/Don't Think About the Box, but it's here too. And of course there's the beauty vs masculinity aspect. So I wanted to play more in that complicated space, where it's like. "Is my beauty why this happened to me?" "Does being beautiful mean I get treated like a girl?" (and yes, I do mean to bring the ugliness and loadedness of that into it).

2 ) Jisung is my faaaaaavorite and I want everything to be about him

3 ) There's a lot of discussion of what Jisung was like as a young teen/preteen, and some of it is ugly. I'm wary of talking about it because I've really only seen it discussed in order to try to cancel him, but that's not at all what I want. In brief, he made a racist rap when he was literally 13, and he fought with Hyunjin as a trainee. He gave an apology for the rap, and one of the things he said about it was (grain of salt, I don't speak korean so this is my recollection of a translation) that he just wanted to rap and didn't think about the meaning behind what he was saying. Which I interpret to mean that, well, he heard racist things, he said racist things without using critical thinking. Others did it so it must be fine. Which... is kind of the theme of the fic! "Others did it so it must be fine", and the trouble that leads to. That's a theme that works for Jisung, and just... wouldn't work as well for many of the others.

3a ) As I mentioned, the other thing people point to in order to criticize his pre-debut self is his fighting with Hyunjin. I have a lot to say about that but the part that's most relevant to the fic is that, since we already have that canon fighting, I thought it would be interesting to add this extra explanation for it.

I suppose also I would say. I chose this pairing for the gangrape fic because my dick said so. But the fic is what it is because of the pairing I chose. It wouldn't be the same fic if it was, say, Chan and Jeongin. It would be fucked up in a whole different way!

#Do not use anything I say here to attack the real person han jisung!#I am not saying he is any more likely to commit a crime than anyone else #I am just talking about what stuff i can weave into a good story #and again #he was like 13 when he did that rap #my fic #meme #I'm actually.... not gonna put this is the main tags lol

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blehcupidd · 1 year ago

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Jealous Girl

Chapter Twenty Two

Xavier Thorpe x fem!oc

A/n: Taken from my Wattpad made at the beginning of 2023, some written mistakes and i had a note about what happen with Percy Hanes White, that note will put put at the end of this chapter.

Also ignore mistakes please i wrote this whilst looking at the tv show so if it says that someone looks at something but it didnt state what, ignore it im sorry.

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Wednesday was covered in blood and mud, Évangéline had found herself in a similar situation. Her fall had been broken by a stray shard of metal, from the sword. The wound was on her waist, every time she moved the pain increased.

She could only focus of the blood on her hands. How bad was the wound? The cock of a gun brought her out of a trance. "You brought a gun to a sword fight." It was Thornhill. "It's probably the first smart decision you've made today."

"I might not get to kill all the outcasts," Thornhill staggered closer to Wednesday. "but at least I'll get to kill you, Wednesday." Évangéline was too far away to see why her previous teacher had stopped. That was until there was a buzzing sound. Getting louder, and louder. The amount of bees increased, all swarming Thornhill.

She began shooting and covering her head, not knowing what to do. "Yeah, that's what you get for messing with Nevermore." It was Wednesdays friend, Eugene. "Hummers stick together, right?"

The bees were imbedding themselves into the woman on the floor. Then, Wednesday ended it all.

All Nevermore pupils and teachers were outside the gates, all wanting the truth for what was happening. Then, Yoko noticed someone walking. It was a small blonde girl, shivering covering in mud and blood.

"Enid?" The soft voice of Ajax worried, seeing she was only in a coat. Leading her through the heels of students, she couldn't see two people. "Where's Wednesday? Where's Évangéline?" Everyone just looked at each other, not knowing what happened with the two girls.

Her worrying was cut short as she saw four people walking towards the gates, although one was slightly limping. They had all ran up to the four, seeing it was Wednesday, Évangéline, Eugene and Bianca. The two girls overwhelmed in emotions were shortly pushed into a hug with an equally emotional Enid.

It was cut slightly short, as Wednesday had leaned backwards, but shortly gave in as she saw Enid's face. Slowly, Évangéline made her way out of the hug, leaving Enid to have the hug she had wanted for months.

Tears were in her eyes, blood had made its way onto her face from her hands and small cuts and mud caked the majority of her skin. Looking at the group of people she was well associated with, she saw Xavier. The boy had staggered towards the girl, not knowing what to do, not knowing how she felt.

She cut his worries short by grasping his face and gave him what they both had yearned for. A kiss. It was finally happening, something that had became so unimaginable by the two. Not thinking they would ever see each other again.

Leaning her face into Xavier's shoulder, he noticed the metal sticking out of the side of her back. "Angel," he whispered, almost like she was about to break into pieces.

"I know," she sighed, holding on tighter.

Students were sent home early for the rest of the semester. After everything from the past night and earlier months, the remaining teachers decided to let the kids have a break. Évangéline had gotten her wound fixed, with it needing a few stitches, and was currently packing her room.

The trio had gone to their deceased principals office, paying their respects. "I hate to admit, but I am gonna miss Principal Weems." The pink one spoke first.

"She could be a real pain." The black one complained. "But she was tough. For that, I have immense respect."

"And she died for the one thing she truly loved, this school." The brown one finished.

"She was one of us." All three girls left.

"Now that classes are cancelled for the rest of the semester, you two have to come visit me in San Francisco." Enid demanded to her two friends. "I can pretty much guarantee fog and drizzle every day for you, Wednesday. And Evan, I'll be there for you to complain to."

"Sounds tempting." Wednesday agreed.

"Only if you two come to France, we can go to all the cute little cafés." Évangéline smiled, seeing the look from her friend, "Don't worry, Nes, there's dark things in Paris. Oh! Like the bell towers of Notre Dame." This brought a composed smile on Wednesdays face, the nickname was back.

"Bianca." Wednesday stopped the girl who helped a lot yesterday, "I owe you a thank you."

"We're getting that fencing title next year. So don't let killing one supernatural pilgrim get to your head." Bianca joked, leaving with a smile towards Évangéline.

"Oh, and Nes." Évangéline turned, only to be met with no Wednesday. Not even Enid. "What the hell," she whispered.

"You look a little lost." A taunting voice came from over head. Already knowing who it was, she held a smile.

"Don't you have anything better to do than watch girls?" Évangéline joked, making her way up the small starecase.

"Only the pretty ones." He lowered his voice, only wanting Évangéline to listen.

"Who are these pretty girls you've been looking at, then?" She wrapped arms around Xavier's neck, holding him close and it felt natural.

"I don't know if you know her." Repeating her actions, but on her waist, being cautious of the stitching. "She has brown hair, with little pink streaks. The most enchanting eyes I've ever seen. She's incredibly brave and even after falling out with someone, she still helped her."

This caused an uncontrollable smile to appear of Évangéline's face, "Stop it," she spoke into his shoulder, hiding her smile. It was a nice silence for a few seconds. No worries clouded their minds, they felt content in the moment and didn't care if their fellow students were watching.

"How are your stitches?" He stroked just above the fresh wound, showing his affection.

"Could be better. How are you feeling about being a free man?" She brought her head up.

"All charges dismissed." He smiled, replicating what Évangéline was doing. "I'm sorry to cut this short, but I need to find Wednesday and thank her for the arrow and to apologise for things I said." At the sound of an arrow, she gave a confused face, "I'll explain later. Have a good break, I'll see you around?" He gave a hopeful glance.

"Of course." She waved him off. "Have a good break."

After saying goodbye to her friends she met up with her father, belongings already in the car. "You ready to go, Evie?" He asked, but before she could answer, her phone went off. Looking at the message, it was pictures of her and Xavier and her and Wednesday.

She looked up, hiding the scared look, "Yeah, I'm ready."

#addamsfamily #ajaxpetropolus #enidsinclair #fanfic #fanfiction #netflix #nevermore #thehyde #wednesday #wednesdayaddams #xavierthorpe #xavier thorpe x fem!oc #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier thorpe x you #xavier thorpe x y/n

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